Potatoes and the Promise of More Potatoes
Funnier than a sharp stink in your eye…
First, identify the spider. This can be done with either a naturalist’s guide to wildlife or by checking the tattoo in the small of the spider’s back. ◙ Remember: There are only two kinds of poisonous spider in the United States. There’s the very distinctive black widow with an almost metallic looking body with a […]
Read More So, There’s a Spider in Your BathtubYou have a break in and she leaves with the burglars… ֎ Your dog draws a chalk line across the living room floor and says, “This side is yours and this side is mine. Just slide my dinner over at five o’clock” ֎ The only trick she does is to bite you when you tell […]
Read More Signs that Your Dog has Fallen Out of Love with YouThe average gorilla weighs three hundred pounds. The above average gorilla weighs just about the same as that but he earns more and doesn’t spill when he drinks too much. ▼ A gorilla has black fur and is capable of doing a person great harm. Think of the gorilla as a bear but with better […]
Read More Gorillas, gorillas, gorillas!So, you bought a vulture… Congratulations! You have purchased a life-long friend, provided you only have ten or so years left to live. Check with your doctor. The novelty of owning a vulture far outweighs the bad-breath and crippling injuries you might suffer from their beaks or talons. And, they can be a godsend should […]
Read More how to strangle your vultureThey are the only animal that attacks using “jump-scares” unless you count that squirrel that lives in my garage. ◙ They leave little rodent turds everywhere and I just bought a two pound box of raisins. ◙ They eat every food in the house except for what is in the mousetraps. ◙ Mice all look […]
Read More Why I Must Kill Mice
Potatoes and the Promise of More Potatoes 