A veterinarian was complaining to a friend about a patient of his: “I’m treating this stag who has a split personality. He had a hundred thousand personalities when I started treating him; and now, he’s got ten TIMES that” The friend asked if he could see the animal and the vet took him to the […]Read More A Bad Joke, but from the Hart
The Ornate Facetiousness of the Hammerhead FlatwormRead More It’s Gross Animal Time Again!
[Okay… this one is “experimental”, which is code for “pretty crappy”. I came up with the title first and then tried to come up with ten items. Don’t read these ’til you’ve had your coffee…] Why is there a rhinoceros-shaped hole in my wall? Because… I bought the wrong pet door. I was holding a […]Read More Why is There a Rhinoceros-Shaped Hole in my Wall?
When people started trying to avoid sinning by staying in bed all day and doing nothing, sloth was added to the deadly sins in a technique known as “damning on the curve”. At monasteries of all religions, idleness is frowned upon. Fortunately, that doesn’t deter really lazy people because they seldom expend the energy to […]Read More I Refuse to Work Hard on this List for Sloth
They say pigs are awfully clever but, can they do your taxes? No, never! . They say the smartest birds are crows but, how one got stuck in my chimney nobody knows. . They say an elephant never forgets But, if they were smarter, they’d make better pets. . If a dog were smartes […]Read More Stupid Animals: A Poem
Yes, it’s the Surinam Toad… Thanks to Deb Whittam for the idea.Read More Another Damned Animal Essay
This is your lucky day! My essay on Giant Otters is complete and the Nobel Prize committee is VERY interested… The Aquatic Ferocity of the Giant OtterRead More The Giant Otter