Three More Bad Poems

The earthworm’s worth a second look it’s more than something on a hook. If they’re in your garden, for what it’s worth they aerate and fertilize the earth. Show one to your sister Beth And, you will scare her half to deth. A chow doesn’t chase sticks or perform any other tricks. If you tell […]

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Raising Venomous Snakes

Know your snakes. They can be unpredictable to those who don’t because they have a wide range of reactions: If startled, they might give you a savage bite; but, if treated gently and calmly, they might give you a savage bite. ☼ Wash your hands after handling snakes. If that is impossible, then wash the […]

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How to Get Rid of a Body

[Thanks to Deb’s husband for the idea] Leave it outside of a cadaver warehouse and someone will just assume it fell out of a window somewhere. ◘ Find a construction site where a large cement foundation is being poured and leave the body near the mailbox. ◘ Throw the body into an active volcano. If […]

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FAQs on Alligators

[The following questions were generated by Google in a search of “alligators”] Do alligators feel love? Alligators, like all reptiles and most cats, lack the limbic part of the brain where emotions are generated. The most you can hope for with an alligator is perfunctory sex once a week and maybe some flowers on your […]

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Why You should Own a Deaf Dog

You can name it anything you want and he’ll never know. You can even give it a cat-name like Mr. Fluffikins or Get-that-thing-out-of-here… ♠ Deaf dogs are easy to sneak up on. When you touch its back, it yelps, snaps at you and then faints. Seems like that would be hilarious, but, it’s only entertaining […]

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