Stupid Animals: A Poem

  They say pigs are awfully clever but, can they do your taxes? No, never! . They say the smartest birds are crows but, how one got stuck in my chimney nobody knows. . They say an elephant never forgets But, if they were smarter, they’d make better pets. . If a dog were smartes […]

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Is a Raccoon the Pet for You?

A raccoon is a wild animal.  I cannot stress this enough.  A RACCOON IS A WILD ANIMAL.  Understand?  You do?  Well then, I apparently stressed it enough. Raccoon feces makes a good fertilizer.  If you have a raccoon as a pet, you won’t even need to leave your home to collect it. Veterinarians who treat […]

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How to Avoid Shark Attacks

If you are in the water, steer clear of fishermen. If you are not in the water, steer clear of fishermen, anyway. If fish or turtles behave erratically, get out of the water. What is erratic behavior for a turtle? I’d imagine it would be running really really fast or trying to buy liquor without […]

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