You Will Certainly Get Bitten

If you try to wrestle a donkey in a bathtub. ♣ If you walk through a weight-watcher’s meeting dressed as a french fry. ♣ If you try to break up a bar-fight between two angry rattlesnakes. ♣ It’s dusk, bats are flying about and you are wearing your “Smells like Mosquitoes” unisex cologne… ♣ You […]

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Book Excerpt: Part Five

Donkeys were domesticated three to five thousand years ago, although you wouldn’t know it by looking at them. They are members of the foul-tempered little horse family of mammals, along with the kiang and the Irish Setter. Donkeys are mentioned in the Bible, Koran, and the Buddhist Sutras; although, they had very little input into […]

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Three More Bad Poems

The earthworm’s worth a second look it’s more than something on a hook. If they’re in your garden, for what it’s worth they aerate and fertilize the earth. Show one to your sister Beth And, you will scare her half to deth. A chow doesn’t chase sticks or perform any other tricks. If you tell […]

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Raising Venomous Snakes

Know your snakes. They can be unpredictable to those who don’t because they have a wide range of reactions: If startled, they might give you a savage bite; but, if treated gently and calmly, they might give you a savage bite. ☼ Wash your hands after handling snakes. If that is impossible, then wash the […]

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How to Get Rid of a Body

[Thanks to Deb’s husband for the idea] Leave it outside of a cadaver warehouse and someone will just assume it fell out of a window somewhere. ◘ Find a construction site where a large cement foundation is being poured and leave the body near the mailbox. ◘ Throw the body into an active volcano. If […]

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