You don’t see a bird like the roadrunner every day… unless you live next door to one and it washes its car a lot… which would be frustrating because you’d like just ONE day to be edging your lawn and not have to make small talk with it while it waxes its Trans Am… Roadrunners […]Read More Notes on the Roadrunner
Emus exist in the wild only in Australia, which is a tough break for them… Female emus, or “femus”, are a little taller than their male counterparts (or “counterpemus”). Femus are also a little wider across the butt and pointing that out gets you a hard peck on the head. Emus can live up to […]Read More Flightless Facts about Emus
Crows are tool-users. The tools that they use aren’t as complex as the ones we use; on the other hand, they seldom put out an eye or cut off a toe with their tools. Crows, by proportion, have brains the size of those of chimpanzees. This means that if a crow were the size of […]Read More I Will Sheryl Facts About Crows
[This one was written years ago. I hope you like it or that it at least doesn’t enrage you] The Racine Complicity of the Snowy OwlRead More A Snowy Owl is the Worst Kind of Fowl
The person you should really be competing with is yourself… because, when competing with others, you are horribly outclassed… I tried to explore my own sexuality but ended up finding a sea route to the West Indies. I decided to keep trying to explore my sexuality but law enforcement on that island has little patience […]Read More Grandiose Thoughts that, in the End, Mean Nothing
[Granted, condors are in danger of extinction. But, which is more beneficial to us: The condor or the french fry? I delve into this question in the stunning expose below] Condors have a six foot wing span. French fries don’t have a wing span at all. Which is going to be easier to get through […]Read More Save the Condor? Save the French Fry!
I was reading Lismore Paper recently… she has many beautiful illustrations, by the way… and I saw an image of a hummingbird. I thought I’d published my essay on hummingbirds already but, as it was when I was married, I was WRONG. So… The Zestful Whimsy of the HummingbirdRead More Oh Yeah, It’s Hummingbirds All the Way Down