Things I Hate that are Red

Roses: “Here ya go, sweetheart: Beautiful, well-scented blooms of deepest crimson lovingly mounted on thirty inches of what might as well be barbed wire” Red Sea: A very disappointing cruise. I really should’ve looked up what the sea looked like in the first place. I haven’t felt so cheated since my trip to Red River […]

Things I Hate that are Yellow

Banana: The banana looks like no other fruit. And, when something looks nothing like anything else that it is, it probably isn’t that (if you read that sentence backwards it actually makes MORE sense). My theory is that those black dots that go the length of the banana are a spine. It bruises when you […]

Colors that I Like Less Than the Others

Purple: Purple was the color of royalty because it took a big pile of stinking sea shells just to make one thing purple… and purple has never really gotten over itself. Now, anyone with a box of crayons can make purple… but, people like Donnie Osmond and Prince perpetuate the regality of the color purple, […]