Olympic Events that Should be Stopped

The Olympics started in 776 B.C.E. as a way of testing strength and endurance and if the gods of Olympus wanted to bestow blessings on the winner they wouldn’t say “no”. They only had a few events compared to the modern Olympics… even fewer if you don’t count some of them. Basically, the events were […]

More From My Bucket List

[Everyone has things that they want to do before they die. Some people want to see things. Some people want to do things. And, some want to see people do things. Here are some items from my own bucket list:] I’d like to have a menage a trois with two penguin researchers. I want to […]

Why Kung-fu Movies are Better than Sex

On average, kung-fu movies last about eighty minutes; sex, in my experience, lasts about eighty seconds… two minutes if I think about baseball… forty-five seconds, if I think about women’s softball… In kung-fu movies, the martial artists pretend to be various animals to make themselves more unbeatable; but, ask your partner to pretend to be […]

The Hearth Cricket

The typical British home will have three things: A black pudding, a hearth cricket and a hole in the wall punched by Jason Statham during one of his famous benders. Now, black puddings are too disgusting to talk about; and, I hear Statham gets pretty nuts when people make fun of him, so I’ll confine […]

The Worst Possible Superpowers

[You have to figure that, for every superhero that gets the power to fly or throw fireballs, there have to be about a hundred that get crappy superpowers. Most probably keep their powers to themselves to avoid ridicule. What ARE these powers? I’d imagine that the worst superpowers would be:] The power to turn gold […]