Ask a Genetically-Modified, Bio-Engineered, Super-Intelligent Dog: The Director’s Cut

Dear Traumatically Modified Super Dog, I was in my yard and overheard my neighbor referring to me as “white trash”. He didn’t see me there because I was behind the old refrigerator lying in the tall grass of my front yard. I thought he and I were getting along… in fact, I thought he liked […]

Ask a Bio-Engineered [blah blah blah] Dog

Dear Bio-Engineered, Genetically-Modified Super-Intelligent Dog, I know that my husband hasn’t paid his income taxes in years. If I turn him in, I hear that the IRS will give me a portion of the money they recover. This money would be very helpful in paying some of our bills and getting our life on track. […]

Ask a Genetically-Modified Bio-Engineered Dog: The Aww-edition

Dear Genetically-Enhanced Bio-Engineered Dog, I’m a professor at a small mid-western university and lately I have been subjected to appropriate advances from one of my students. She KNOWS I’m a professor and yet she continues to make comments to me that are well within social norms and acceptability. How do I explain to her that […]

Ask a Genetically-Modified Bio-engineered Super-intelligent Dog, Pt 6

Dear Genetically-Modified Bio-engineered Super-intelligent Dog, Despite my inviting her, my sister-in-law attended my wedding, which I thought was very selfish of her. That was MY DAY. It was SUPPOSED TO BE ABOUT ME. But, there she sat in the second row, coyly staying quiet enough to be interesting to all those around her. My friends […]