Fun Facts About Lubbock, Texas

Most residents of Lubbock manage to see Oklahoma at least once a year as it flies by them in the form of a dust storm. The most famous Lubbockite was rock pioneer Buddy Holly. A bronze statue of Holly was approved by the city after two and a half decades which was how long it […]

Stuff that I Hate More than the Other Stuff I Hate

Old women who use the term “Land sakes!” Children’s candy that is shaped like drugs. Dog names with more than two syllables. Syrup bottles shaped like heavyset women. Seems like a mixed message. When someone replaces my drugs with children’s candy. Sublime tribute bands who block my car in with their stupid van. Actually, I […]

My Relations

I had a great-uncle who played professional baseball in the thirties. He is best known for standing at the plate, pointing at the right field bleachers and saying, “I buried a body over there”, then hitting a ground ball and being thrown out at first base. My great-great grandfather invented the telephone but then waited […]

The Slow Boat of St. Francis Xavier

When Francis Xavier was born in the Kingdom of Navarre in 1506, the head nurse walked up and said, “Leave this one alone” because, she could tell right away that he was Basque to the bone. He was the youngest in a family that was never able to understand that the Spanish weren’t going to […]

Why You Should Stab Your Luggage

[Why yes, this idea came to me when I was half asleep. How did you know?] You should stab your luggage because… It’s the only way it will learn. The holes will allow baggage-handlers to see if there is anything that they want in your suitcase so they won’t have to break the […]