Stuff that I Hate More than the Other Stuff I Hate

Related image

Old women who use the term “Land sakes!”

Image result for mr yuk

Children’s candy that is shaped like drugs.

Image result for mr yuk

Dog names with more than two syllables.

Image result for mr yuk

Syrup bottles shaped like heavyset women. Seems like a mixed message.

Image result for mr yuk

When someone replaces my drugs with children’s candy.

Image result for mr yuk

Sublime tribute bands who block my car in with their stupid van. Actually, I hate any tribute band who blocks anything I own with their stupid van.

Image result for mr yuk

Finding something in my car’s grill that I cannot identify and it was holding a doll.

Image result for mr yuk

The question, “What are you REALLY angry about?”

Image result for mr yuk

Having to use, out of politeness, the term “gifted” when describing a relative’s vocal performance that is so bad it could conceivably be weaponized.

Image result for mr yuk

Pro wrestlers who start as “bad guys”; then, turn into “good guys”. They get all preachy as if they weren’t a bad guy just a month ago. I can’t deal with that. Isn’t there an ethical price they have to pay for their previous crime of hitting someone with a folding chair when the referee was distracted. If not, our lives have no meaning…

Image result for mr yuk

Reverse mortgage commercials. I think that, if you want to rip off the elderly, just pretend you are going to asphalt their driveway for an absurdly small price the way we’ve always done it.

Image result for mr yuk

Anti-depressant commercials with cartoon graphics. Frankly, it gives me the impression that benign hallucinations are one of the side effects. Words cannot express my disappointment; moreover, the drug didn’t help alleviate that disappointment.

Image result for mr yuk

Having some crazy anti-vaxer video in the “recommended” part of my Youtube page. It makes me wonder what the HELL I was watching that would indicate that I’d enjoy a fact-free scare-post from someone I’ll be seeing on the news in four months for the neglect-murder of his toddler…

Image result for mr yuk

The name “Simone”. It evokes the image of a sullen, selfish, sometimes violent woman who never returned my food-processor.

Image result for mr yuk

I hate parents who, when one of their children says, “Well, he started it”, reply, “Well, I’m ending it” when everyone knows that squabbles between siblings can go on for decades. My brother put his hand on my side of the car seat in 1968 and I’m STILL planning to mention it in his eulogy…

Image result for mr yuk

12 thoughts on “Stuff that I Hate More than the Other Stuff I Hate

  1. “Finding something in my car’s grill that I cannot identify and it was holding a doll” Hahahaha…..And the last one were my favorites. And now it is in my head – I think I may express frustration today with “Land Sakes!” to annoy my kids 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I used the car grill one as a tag line on a link site. The last one I make the assumption that I will outlive my younger brother. He’s an alcoholic who smokes like a chimney and I still think he’ll live longer than me…

      BTW, if “Land Sakes!” doesn’t annoy your kids, try “Land o’ Goshin'”…

      Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s