I Haven’t Got a Random Thought No Matter Where I Sought

My grandmother didn’t have a birth certificate; so, when she told me that she was standing right in front of me, I had to take her word for it… There are so many pharmaceutical drugs out there, they are giving them nonsense names like “Liponazazz” and “Trilohope”. Whenever I see one of their commercials, my […]

Celebrities I’ll Never Date and Why

Bjork: I don’t mind so much that she attacked a reporter. Most of my aunts have a least taken a swing at one. What would doom us romantically would be that she’s from Iceland and probably keeps the thermostat too low. Nicole Kidman: She was married to a Scientologist for eleven years. No one leaves […]

Two Short Pieces

Ray’s Big Trip to the End Point A ray is a straight line with a start point but extends to infinity on the other side… so they are impossible to balance on your index finger. On one side, the ray just keeps going and going regardless of the fact that it looks like it could […]

Fun Things to do at the Laundromat

Challenge your underwear to a fight. ֎ Try to sell someone your plastic laundry basket as the Largest Colander Ever Built… ֎ Loudly announce you lost a dime bag of meth to see how many patrons dive under the seats. ֎ If they have the stiff contoured plastic chairs, oil them to see how far […]