What i want

Every Playing Partner at Your Golf Club — The Club

I want a car with one-wheel drive for spinning in tight circles.

I want the finest caviar so I can show it to my second-finest caviar and maybe inspire it to WORK HARDER!

I want a cranberry bog… partly because I like cranberries and partly because it seems like a great place to get rid of a body.

I want a bag of broken golf clubs to save time and effort when I lose my temper playing golf.

I want a goat that is fairly well-domesticated and the same caliber as the goat cannon I’ve been working on.

I want a pair of leather driving gloves so that the casual observer won’t make the mistake of thinking that I’m not a douche-bag.

I want a prostitute yo-yo. They do tricks like a regular yo-yo, but not unless you pay in advance.

I want a fine meerschaum pipe to carry around just in case any casual observers didn’t notice the driving gloves.

I want a chess set where the pieces are modeled after famous pacifists.

I want a black bear with its own self-destruct switch.

18 thoughts on “What i want

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