Signs Your Career as a Clown Might be Coming to an End

The Real Victims of Creepy Clowns: Actual Clowns - WSJ

[Props to Deb for literally emailing me the idea]



Your unofficial clown name is, “Giggles, the Clown Everyone Should Keep a Close Eye on”…

Clown

Most clowns produce coins from OUT of a child’s ear. You were caught stuffing coins in.

Clown

Your clown makeup is registered with Clown International, local law enforcement and the FBI.

Clown

Your assistant’s only real duty is to hold people off while you run to your car.

Clown

You’re the reason that Pennywise hides in the sewers.

Clown

A video of your tight-wire routine has been found on various bondage websites.

Clown

You’re the reason no one sings “Everybody Loves a Clown” anymore…

Clown

You have to take a break after your handstands to catch your breath and maybe throw up a few times.

Clown

Emmett Kelly had a routine where he’d sweep up the spotlight. Your routine involves beating the spotlight to death with a baseball bat and then going after its family…

Clown

Your “Wacky Hysterical Fun Clown Easter Spectacular” includes a mock crucifixion…

Clown

You’ve put on so much weight that, when you get into the clown car, all the other clowns have to walk.

11 thoughts on “Signs Your Career as a Clown Might be Coming to an End

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