Advice Column Advice

To my readers and to those who just come here to see if I mentioned them at all:  I’m planning on writing another advice column featuring the biologically-enhanced super-intelligent dog, and I thought some of you might want to offer questions for her.  If so, put them into the comments below… Ask a Bio-engineered Super-intelligent […]

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Scars and How You Get Them

[In the movie, The Dark Knight, The Joker asks various people, “Wanna know how I got these scars?” and spins a different story to each person.  Here are the real answers to: Wanna know how I got these scars?     I was teaching my dog how to catch a Frisbee. I was a sword […]

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Insanity, by Calvin Klein

  Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. Quantum physics is doing the same thing in exactly the same way, over and over, and getting one, two or zero results, depending upon whether or not the cat in the box ate the poison. Insanity is doing the same thing […]

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Another Mindless Rant

Astronomers keep finding planets around other stars; and, if you believe them, I’ve got a bridge I want to sell you. It’s my bridge… I’ve got a receipt. The guy who owned it didn’t need it anymore because he bought himself a catapult. Most of it is in my backyard, but, I’ve got a few […]

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Fun Facts About the Penis

Freud was right about penis envy. Women did envy them in the nineteenth century because those who had them had most of the wealth, power and, of course, penises… Never elect a president with a small penis or you may end up spending a trillion dollars on a long and hard wall at your southern […]

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