To my readers and to those who just come here to see if I mentioned them at all: I’m planning on writing another advice column featuring the biologically-enhanced super-intelligent dog, and I thought some of you might want to offer questions for her. If so, put them into the comments below… Ask a Bio-engineered Super-intelligent […]Read More Advice Column Advice
[In the movie, The Dark Knight, The Joker asks various people, “Wanna know how I got these scars?” and spins a different story to each person. Here are the real answers to: Wanna know how I got these scars? I was teaching my dog how to catch a Frisbee. I was a sword […]Read More Scars and How You Get Them
Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. Quantum physics is doing the same thing in exactly the same way, over and over, and getting one, two or zero results, depending upon whether or not the cat in the box ate the poison. Insanity is doing the same thing […]Read More Insanity, by Calvin Klein
Astronomers keep finding planets around other stars; and, if you believe them, I’ve got a bridge I want to sell you. It’s my bridge… I’ve got a receipt. The guy who owned it didn’t need it anymore because he bought himself a catapult. Most of it is in my backyard, but, I’ve got a few […]Read More Another Mindless Rant
National Depression Screening Day (October 11th ): Usually observed by sitting in a dark room watching television with the sound off. World Circumcision Day (January 1st ): Celebrated with the eating of a hot dog with half a pancake wrapped around it. Feast of the Ascension (varies): Like any other day, except dinner is served […]Read More Holidays and Observances and How they are Celebrated
The race goes not always to the swift, but they are usually the odds on favorite. Violence never solved anything… except the problem of that guy who’s staring at you from across the bar. He who knows that enough is enough will always have enough. He who knows that too much isn’t nearly enough will […]Read More Waiter! What’s this Random Thought Doing in My Soup?
Freud was right about penis envy. Women did envy them in the nineteenth century because those who had them had most of the wealth, power and, of course, penises… Never elect a president with a small penis or you may end up spending a trillion dollars on a long and hard wall at your southern […]Read More Fun Facts About the Penis