Scars and How You Get Them

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[In the movie, The Dark Knight, The Joker asks various people, “Wanna know how I got these scars?” and spins a different story to each person.  Here are the real answers to:

Wanna know how I got these scars?

 

 

I was teaching my dog how to catch a Frisbee.

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I was a sword swallower who didn’t have a clue how to orient the sword.

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One of the many studio makeup chairs.

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I put way too much effort into smiling.

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I tried to eat a porcupine tail-first.

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During a bondage session, we couldn’t find my ball gag so we tried to substitute a basketball and duct tape.

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Never stand behind your toddler when he’s learning to cast.

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I had a fit while shaving.

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My father was a drinker, and a fiend.  And one night, he goes off crazier than usual.  Mommy gets the kitchen knife to defend herself.  He doesn’t like that.  Not. One. Bit. So, me watching, he takes the knife to her, laughing while he does it.  Anyway, long story short, a dog bit me.

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I tried to sneak into Canada, disguised as Pac-Man.

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17 thoughts on “Scars and How You Get Them

      1. Ah, I remember that rhino: Daisy, the Dart-Throwing Rhino! A vaudeville staple for nearly thirty years before she ran amok and gored Peter Ustinov…

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