Stuff I Regret

Flying Kangaroo

I regret starting up my own religion and I swear to the almighty kangaroo goddess that it will never happen again…

I regret blowing all my money on Doc Savage books as a teenager when there were perfectly good prostitutes within walking distance.

I regret that time when I picked a fight with a tractor.

I regret ever saying, “Of course I’ll be in the delivery room when our son is born”

I regret not spending more time with my children despite their pleas that I “give them some space”.

I regret concentrating too much on the material world and not enough on my hallucinations.

I regret going to that singles bar because everyone there was married and they only took one dollar bills.

I regret eating all that paste in kindergarten because now my gall bladder is permanently attached to my small intestine.

I regret legally changing my name to “Mr. Perfect” because it gave people unrealistic expectations…

13 thoughts on “Stuff I Regret

  1. I read that Nathan Hale probably never said “I regret that I have but one life to lose for my country.” I find that so disillusioning that I’m wondering if you really regret what you may or may not have said.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That reminds me of Eddie Izzard’s routine on “give me liberty or give me death”. He reflects on what would’ve happened if the colonials had lost. Patrick Henry – “Death? No, I said ‘Beth'”

      Liked by 1 person

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