Regret!

A former nihilist regrets nothing. I regret persuading a friend to give her baby up for adoption. She didn’t really need to but I just wanted to see if I could do it… My biggest regret? That blue whale I accidentally killed. I regret not keeping in touch with friends from high school but the […]

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I’m So So Sorry

I’m sorry I hypnotized your dog into thinking she was a squirrel, but at least you’ve got all the acorns you’ll ever need. I’m sorry I bought you a treadmill without asking first.  I’m also sorry about what I said about your butt, its size and what it looks like when you bend over. I’m […]

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