A former nihilist regrets nothing.
I regret persuading a friend to give her baby up for adoption. She didn’t really need to but I just wanted to see if I could do it…
My biggest regret? That blue whale I accidentally killed.
I regret not keeping in touch with friends from high school but the state penitentiary is so far away.
I regret not returning the love that others gave me… except that guy on the train. I still think hitting him with the magazine I was carrying was my best option.
I wish I’d listened to my gut more… especially when it said, “Have more pie”.
I regret not spending more time pretending to enjoy my children.
I regret all the pain I’ve caused mostly due to the harsh reprisals…
I regret trying to change my first girlfriend into something she never wanted to be: A half-woman/half-deer hybrid.
I regret every contradictory statement I ever made except for this one.
Potatoes and the Promise of More Potatoes 
I regret not telling the truth. 🙁
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How can I believe you really mean that?
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Trust me 😊
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Have more pie is advice you should never refuse.
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Oh, definitely…
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This humor is darker than usual…still funny…darker…
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Yeah, I could see my son’s face when I read him the one about pretending to enjoy time with your children. Well… he could’ve stayed in the uterus, but he decided to come out, so he gets what he deserves…
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I usually have the other problem – the regret after eating the WHOLE pie.
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If a pie doesn’t want to get eaten, it shouldn’t insist on being delicious…
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I didn’t have to change my wife into any sort of hybrid. She was already one when I married her…pretending to be human.
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You’re almost as bitter as I am…
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LOL! Actually, I’ve gotten over it and transformed that energy into the source of all my creativity….LOL!
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😂/😢 not sure, but I like it a lot!
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There has to be a bit of sad in humor…
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I love your take.
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