Is Sean Connery’s James Bond a Moron?

[Disclaimer: I like Sean Connery. Anyone who can lisp their esses to the extent he does and still come off as sexy and charismatic is okay in my book. Any flaws I find in the Connery Bond falls concisely on the shoulders of the director and producers. Amen!] Connery’s Bond was an anti-hero in an […]

Seven Habits of Highly Ineffectual People

Don’t be afraid to ask questions: And, I mean a LOT of questions… so many questions that no one you work for will ever ask you to do anything ever again. Network: You may think you are alone out there, but there are a lot of other screw-ups that are just waiting to share what […]

Tinker, Tailor, Random, Thoughts

My gaydar went down for an entire day and I was forced to interact with people whose sexual leanings could not be effectively guessed at. When I finally got it working again, it turned out that I’d interacted with three gays and might have caught homosexuality from one of them. Doctor told me that I’d […]

Night Lizard

This is an older essay taken from a book I wrote and never published. Before you feel bad for me you should know that the reason it was never published was because I was trying to find a way to kill all the puppies in the world. I was pretty hardcore back then… The Polyphonic […]

What May be My Worst Ideas Ever

A light opera about salt-water crocodiles Aerosol grape jelly A seeing eye rhinoceros so the blind can navigate through packed crowds A pine cone circus A little refrigerator you can fit inside your microwave. A line of condolence cards based upon the movie Ben Hur. A television series about a fat, pony-tailed humorist who fights […]