What May be My Worst Ideas Ever

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A light opera about salt-water crocodiles

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Aerosol grape jelly

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A seeing eye rhinoceros so the blind can navigate through packed crowds

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A pine cone circus

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A little refrigerator you can fit inside your microwave.

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A line of condolence cards based upon the movie Ben Hur.

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A television series about a fat, pony-tailed humorist who fights evil at night and writes lists that no one reads by day.

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Cat stimulants.

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Liquefied omelet drinks for people on the go.

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A special brassiere for women who’ve been born with their hearts outside their chests.

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Sperm bank ATMs

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Bandaid-flavored jelly beans

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Where’s Waldo books in braille

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Salmon room freshener

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Disposable engagement rings

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Scented cattle-prods

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Lavender-flavored beef jerky

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Semi-flat house paint

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My Daughter has sex for drugs” t-shirts

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Vegetarian walrus chow.

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