All Quiet on the Random Thoughts

Sun Tzu said, “When you forces are strong, appear weak; and, when your forces are weak, appear strong”. That’s why, whenever I walk into a bar full of tough guys, I always make it a point to knock out the smallest, weakest man in the room. Just in case they all have knowledge of […]

Seven Habits of Highly Ineffectual People

Don’t be afraid to ask questions: And, I mean a LOT of questions… so many questions that no one you work for will ever ask you to do anything ever again. Network: You may think you are alone out there, but there are a lot of other screw-ups that are just waiting to share what […]

Tinker, Tailor, Random, Thoughts

My gaydar went down for an entire day and I was forced to interact with people whose sexual leanings could not be effectively guessed at. When I finally got it working again, it turned out that I’d interacted with three gays and might have caught homosexuality from one of them. Doctor told me that I’d […]

What May be My Worst Ideas Ever

A light opera about salt-water crocodiles Aerosol grape jelly A seeing eye rhinoceros so the blind can navigate through packed crowds A pine cone circus A little refrigerator you can fit inside your microwave. A line of condolence cards based upon the movie Ben Hur. A television series about a fat, pony-tailed humorist who fights […]

Life Hacks for Those Who’ve Given Up on Life

Need impromptu canapés? Just cut regular food into small unsatisfying portions and put toothpicks into them. During a long power outage, a flashlight can be invaluable in that it will give you and your family something to fight over. Club soda stains on your new white carpet? A little red wine will lift those stains […]