All Quiet on the Random Thoughts

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Not pictured:  Mrs. Sun Tzu

 

Sun Tzu said, “When you forces are strong, appear weak; and, when your forces are weak, appear strong”. That’s why, whenever I walk into a bar full of tough guys, I always make it a point to knock out the smallest, weakest man in the room. Just in case they all have knowledge of ancient Chinese military tactics…

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If you are in a house during a fire, keep as low as possible. If you are ever threatened by a black bear, make yourself seem as large as possible. If you are ever menaced by a flaming black bear, you are done for…

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We’ve bred dogs to the point where some are larger than a man and some are small enough to fit inside a tea cup. We haven’t done that with people, yet… which is a shame because I could really use a hypoallergenic girlfriend…

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If utter humiliating failure is your goal, I suggest you aspire to become a famous tap dancer.

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Out of chaos comes opportunity… usually an opportunity to be trampled by panicked crowds…

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If there is one trait that makes us all brothers, it is having the same parents…
Image result for bearEvery problem can be solved by patience: Either the problem will resolve itself and go away or you will die of old age…

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I like camping because, after we’ve destroyed most of the animal habitat in the country, it’s nice to go into what little land they have left and annoy them…

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No one knows how many sheep are in the world because, whenever researchers try to count them, they fall asleep…

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6 thoughts on “All Quiet on the Random Thoughts

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