What May be My Worst Ideas Ever

A light opera about salt-water crocodiles Aerosol grape jelly A seeing eye rhinoceros so the blind can navigate through packed crowds A pine cone circus A little refrigerator you can fit inside your microwave. A line of condolence cards based upon the movie Ben Hur. A television series about a fat, pony-tailed humorist who fights […]

Life Hacks for Those Who’ve Given Up on Life

Need impromptu canapés? Just cut regular food into small unsatisfying portions and put toothpicks into them. During a long power outage, a flashlight can be invaluable in that it will give you and your family something to fight over. Club soda stains on your new white carpet? A little red wine will lift those stains […]

The Chair-throwing Hegemony of Complaining

[Everyone needs to learn how to complain effectively. Because, it is the squeaky wheel that gets the grease, at least until someone becomes proactive and replaces the entire wheel] First, is your complaint valid? The less valid the complaint, the more energy you must put into the complaining. Your new shirt has a hole in […]

In Praise of Blackmail

I am a blackmailer; and, I am a saint. You know, you hear a lot about the concept of “blackmail”, but you never see a sincere discussion as to its merits. Most people see blackmailers as shadowy sinister people who lurk in the underbelly of society. That is stereotyping and it has to stop. Yes, […]

Life’s Little Supreme Ironies

[What follows is a list of ironic events or things. Although I feel I’ve only scratched the surface, it was difficult to come up with even ten. Anyone else know any legitimate ironies?] A pet bird dying in a plane crash. Being beaten to death by a pacifists’ bodyguards. A financial planner who takes a […]