New Years Resolutions

I resolve to think before I act. Well, actually I haven’t resolved to do that yet, but I’m considering it. I resolve to take the CPR dummy I keep in my closet out for a night on the town. Imagine the look on her face! I resolve to give the people in my life the […]

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New Year’s Resolutions

I resolve to finish training my prototype of the first seeing-eye cheetah, thereby giving the blind the ability to drive on most U.S. highways; moreover, I will try to breed out the DNA segment that makes the animal dangerously cheesy… I resolve not to try to explode the heads of my fellow subway riders through […]

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