New Years Resolutions

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I resolve to think before I act. Well, actually I haven’t resolved to do that yet, but I’m considering it.

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I resolve to take the CPR dummy I keep in my closet out for a night on the town. Imagine the look on her face!

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I resolve to give the people in my life the respect that they deserve which should give me a lot more alone time.

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I resolve to eat less meat and chocolate and more of whatever foods are not those two things…

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I resolve to live each day as if it were my last, drinking heavily and making funeral arrangements.

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I resolve to stop stealing from my mom’s medicine cabinet and instead do the research and go to my doctor with fake symptoms like an adult.

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I resolve to stop asking people who are missing a limb how their pit bull is doing.

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I resolve to learn a different language so I can tell my neighbors, in their own tongue, that they are dirty and need to leave my country.

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I resolve to give my mathematical concepts class a hundred and ten percent of my efforts.

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I resolve to floss every single day that I wouldn’t mind my gums bleeding a lot.

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I resolve to stop relying on taxi cabs or ubers when I need to travel from my bedroom to my living room.

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I resolve to never divulge that my Super PAC is really PAC Kent, reporter for the Daily Planet…

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20 thoughts on “New Years Resolutions

      1. I finished my book and I’m sending it to my mum to read, which will scare her witless and tomorrow I have a job interview. So I’m good, Australia on the other hand is shite. So many lives lost, bushfires everywhere. It’s a disaster.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I’ve heard about the fires. I hope you are staying safe. Maybe it would be a good time to take your camera and document what is going on… while staying a safe distance away, of course…

        Liked by 1 person

  1. I haven’t been able to write (it’s been so crazy here) but I have kept up with reading my favorite blogs. I missed my morning smile 🙂 Glad you’re back!

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  2. Great post! I found out a while ago that the best way not to fail on my New Year Resolutions is not to make any! I have written an article recently about this titled ‘Why New Year Resolutions are Doomed to Fail’ – ,’https://authorjoannereed.net/new-years-resolutions/ – Feel free to check it out!

    Liked by 1 person

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