10-40-400-40-10: Pain in the Membrane

Pain is our first teacher…effective, with surprisingly little homework… Pain is the first indicator, after we are born, that everything is NOT going to be okay. Look at a baby’s face when it experiences pain… same expression I wore when I first played punch-in-the-balls after someone punched my balls. Eventually, youths split into two groups: […]

Regret!

A former nihilist regrets nothing. I regret persuading a friend to give her baby up for adoption. She didn’t really need to but I just wanted to see if I could do it… My biggest regret? That blue whale I accidentally killed. I regret not keeping in touch with friends from high school but the […]

Stuff I Used to Worry About

I used to worry about dying young; now, I just worry about dying. I used to worry about going bald; now, I just worry about my hat blowing off. I used to worry about getting fat; now, I just worry that I’m not worried about getting fat. I used to worry about being publicly humiliated; […]

What’s Wrong with Redheads?

A redhead spends more on sun block than a coke addict spends on cocaine. A red-headed cocaine addict should be avoided at all costs. Redheads do not go gray… they don’t even age. They just live until they succumb to dermatitis or they suffocate under the weight of their own freckles… The ancient Greeks believed […]