What’s Wrong with Redheads?

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A redhead spends more on sun block than a coke addict spends on cocaine. A red-headed cocaine addict should be avoided at all costs.

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Redheads do not go gray… they don’t even age. They just live until they succumb to dermatitis or they suffocate under the weight of their own freckles…

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The ancient Greeks believed that redheads were vampires. Now we realize that, if redheads DID drink human blood, they wouldn’t look so damned anemic all the time…

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Two percent of the world’s population are redheads… and most of those are orangutans…

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Redheads are more likely to be left-handed, which forces those living with them to buy left-handed versions of all their favorite novelty coffee mugs.

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Bees are more likely to attack redheads than people with other hair colors. Scientists have concluded that this is due to their hair color’s resemblance to that of pollinating flowers and the possibility that the bees are doing God’s work by ridding the world of anemic vampires.

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Redheads have a higher pain threshold, which explains why so many of them can live in Scotland without complaining.

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A study published in the British Journal of Cancer suggests that red-headed men are fifty percent less likely to develop prostate cancer. This is due to the fact that red-headed men are fifty percent less likely to have prostates…

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During the Middle Ages, a child born with red hair was considered the result of conception during menstruation. Oh course, modern science has shown us that the birth of a red-headed child has nothing to do with menstruation and everything to do with the mother making a pact with Satan.

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In ancient Egypt, redheads were buried alive as sacrifices to Osiris. The redheads, reportedly, were happy for the chance to get out of direct sunlight.

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19 thoughts on “What’s Wrong with Redheads?

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