I Go Dark Again: Thoughts on Death

I thought that I was dying, once, but my life did NOT flash before my eyes. Instead, I relived the final season of Three’s Company, which was nice because Priscilla Barnes was just coming into her own, then. If I’m ever found dead in a motel room in women’s underwear, I hope to God I’m […]

Least Effective Methods of Suicide

Blowing your brains out with an electric fan. Slashing your elbows. Throwing yourself under a moving cat. Jumping off the roof of a very tall building onto the roof of a slightly shorter building. Caulking your lungs shut. Choking yourself on the breasts of a CPR dummy. Overdosing on Fiddle-faddle. Hanging yourself from a shoe […]