Why You Should Give the Gift… of Eels

When giving eels, put some young ones in the package and some fake plastic young eels, because everyone loves an elvers impersonator… If the recipient has no room in his refrigerator, any cylindrical storage will do. I keep my eels in an umbrella stand. Eels secrete a lot of mucus which can be a godsend […]

Comparing Our 45th President to a Rat

When Vladimir Putin sees a rat, he says, “Oh! A rat!”. When he sees Donald Trump he says, “Oh! An idiot!” Rats aren’t as interested in bankrupting farmers because RATS LOVE GRAIN SILOS. Most rats are pretty sure that there were no airports back in the year 1812… Rats don’t care about your religion or […]