Why You Should Give the Gift… of Eels

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When giving eels, put some young ones in the package and some fake plastic young eels, because everyone loves an elvers impersonator…

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If the recipient has no room in his refrigerator, any cylindrical storage will do.  I keep my eels in an umbrella stand.

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Eels secrete a lot of mucus which can be a godsend for people who don’t have enough mucus.

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Eels can be processed and turned into a pie that should not be mistaken for food.

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Eels make a great surprise gift because no one expects eels.

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Remember the old saying, “A gift with a face on it is not soon forgotten”

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An electric eel can be used as a shock collar if you want your dog disciplined severely and randomly.

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For the Nords, the sixth wedding anniversary was the “Eel Anniversary” and celebrated by eating dried eel and eel pie followed by a spirited game of “Shock the Beagle”.

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If you receive an eel and decide you don’t want it, break out the acrylic paints and, after an hour’s work, you can gift it to someone else as a coral snake.

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Eel can be dried and smoked… but, if you get high, it’s probably less the eel meat and more what the eel might’ve ingested just before it was caught.

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17 thoughts on “Why You Should Give the Gift… of Eels

    1. A gift-bucket of eels has been automatically sent to your home: Smoked eels, dried eels and eel soaps… all with lovely eel wrapping paper that bears the face of Sylvester Stallone.

      Like

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