The White House Answers Questions about the Coronavirus

 

Image result for coronavirus

Image result for vintage broadcast microphone smallFirst, how did the virus originate?

 

 

Image result for trump white backgroundWell, I hear… I hear people saying that the virus is from China and from birds or bats or something. If China had signed that trade agreement earlier, they wouldn’t have this problem.

 

Image result for vintage broadcast microphone smallWhy is that?

 

 

Image result for trump white backgroundWell, as you know, Nancy Pelosi… or “Crazy Nancy” I call her… sometimes “Moscow Nancy” but that never caught on and I’m stuck with a hundred thousand t-shirts… she knows that without a wall on our southern border, we’ll never see any progress in our country… economically… like we do now.

 

Image result for vintage broadcast microphone smallThat didn’t answer the question. In fact, that didn’t answer ANY question. The CDC is telling us to get ready for a pandemic–

 

Image result for trump white backgroundYou can’t have a pandemic if you don’t have a strong tax base to fund it and the only way to bring in more taxes is to lower taxes on people in high income categories. One of my sons is looking into this and told me he’s pretty sure he can stop the pandemic with graphite.

 

Image result for vintage broadcast microphone smallGraphite?

 

 

Image result for trump white backgroundThey make the pencils out of it. Sometimes, I mash one up and put it into my applesauce when no one is looking…

 

Image result for vintage broadcast microphone smallumm… great story. Can we get back to the Coronavirus?

 

 

Image result for trump white backgroundI put Mike Pence on it because we need an expert overseeing this.

 

Image result for vintage broadcast microphone smallWhat exactly is Pence an expert at?

 

 

Image result for trump white backgroundWell, Mike Pence, or as I call him, “Crazy Nancy”, helped the HIV virus take hold in his state when it seemed it was about to be wiped out. I figure, he can call in a favor.

 

Image result for vintage broadcast microphone smallA favor?

 

 

Image result for trump white backgroundLook. If you’re going to interrupt me when I’m done talking, my followers will know you are part of the FAKE MEDIA, so let me finish.

 

Image result for vintage broadcast microphone smallI’m sorry…

 

 

Image result for trump white backgroundYou gotta figure HIV has friends… ebola viruses and flu viruses… they can put in a good word and say, “Hey! Don’t go to America because my friend Donald Trump lives there” That’s how they handled the ebola virus, or “Crazy Nancy” I call it.

 

Image result for vintage broadcast microphone smallWhat the hell are you—?

 

 

Image result for trump white backgroundAnd, the ebola virus came to me, a big strong ebola virus who never cried its who life and it said, “Mr. President, sir, I’m not going to wipe out all life on Earth…”

 

Image result for vintage broadcast microphone smallIt did that?

 

 

Image result for trump white backgroundYes. And, I said, “Crazy Nancy, thank you” and it was the best “thank you”… it was HUGE.

 

Image result for vintage broadcast microphone smallWe may have to cut this sh–

 

 

Image result for trump white backgroundI think I might have a fever from all this winning and a headache. Did you hear a cough?

 

Image result for vintage broadcast microphone smallAnd, THAT’S my cue to leave…

23 thoughts on “The White House Answers Questions about the Coronavirus

  1. Oh my gosh, that was hilarious – laughed out loud at “Well, Mike Pence, or as I call him, “Crazy Nancy”,” and “And, the ebola virus came to me, a big strong ebola virus who never cried its who life and it said, “Mr. President, sir, I’m not going to wipe out all life on Earth…””

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Good stuff right there. I was driving back from work earlier and heard this weapons-grade loon opining that maybe old flu vaccine could be used to innoculate against covid-19. I mean, what the actual f**k!!! 😀

    Liked by 1 person

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