Why the Part of Dracula should be Performed by a Donkey

Or, how is a donkey like a vampire? (Don’t judge me too harshly. High difficulty level) If you throw holy water into a vampire’s face it burns. Donkeys aren’t burned by holy water thrown into the face, but it sure pisses them off. Dracula didn’t come from Omaha. The same is true for the vast […]

Thoughts on Eighties Video Games

Space Invaders: When the attackers come, they will come in orderly rows because only the most anal-retentive species can master interstellar travel. Pac Man: He eats and he eats and he eats and it never ever takes away the pain. And, as a bonus, the ghosts of everyone he’s ever consumed will eventually drive him […]

10-40-400-40-10

The best time to travel the desert is at night. You can use the stars for navigation; for example, if you look at the brightest star, directly above your head and it gets closer and closer, you are traveling upwards and not sideways, backwards or forwards like you should be. And, don’t think it won’t […]

Other Stuff that I Want

A seeing-eye hot blonde. A set of fine china with images of half-eaten food painted on them. A mockingbird and an ultrasensitive cat Mood toilet paper A nice set of chef’s knives and a nice chef to go with them A lace and silk handkerchief because I’ve always wanted to start an illegal street race […]

Deb’s 42 Word Challenge

Deb’s contest can be found here Nuclear tipped harpoons rained down from the killer zeppelin and victory seemed certain for Captain Nemo. Industrialists had rejected his idea of air warfare and now they would pay. His confidence was short-lived. “What does this lever do?”, asked a new employee.