A seeing-eye hot blonde.
A set of fine china with images of half-eaten food painted on them.
A mockingbird and an ultrasensitive cat
Mood toilet paper
A nice set of chef’s knives and a nice chef to go with them
A lace and silk handkerchief because I’ve always wanted to start an illegal street race
A pair of shoes that adds two inches to my height while simultaneously relieving mild constipation
A combination .38 caliber revolver and baby rattle
Season tickets to the Superbowl
Cookies in the shape of people who are trying to impersonate cookies
The logical successor to the spork, the “knifadlechula”, a razor-sharp ladle that can be used as a spatula and to gut a hog.
A video game that is made up of all previous video games because I’ve always wondered how Duke Nukem would fare against Ms. Pacman.