Why the Part of Dracula should be Performed by a Donkey

17 thoughts we had while watching Vampire in Brooklyn | SYFY WIRE

Or, how is a donkey like a vampire?

(Don’t judge me too harshly. High difficulty level)

If you throw holy water into a vampire’s face it burns. Donkeys aren’t burned by holy water thrown into the face, but it sure pisses them off.

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Dracula didn’t come from Omaha. The same is true for the vast majority of donkeys.

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Vampires are repelled by garlic; donkeys can be roasted with garlic.

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Jackasses look fairly dapper in capes especially if they are wearing a silk top hat and spats.

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Vampires do not cast a reflection in a mirror. Donkeys do, but they seldom look into mirrors.

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Eddie Murphy played a vampire in Vampire in Brooklyn and a donkey in the movie Shrek. If a man pretending to be a donkey can pretend to be a vampire, it should be simple for a donkey to pretend to be a vampire.

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A donkey breeds with a horse to produce a mule. A vampire can breed with a horse but the only thing that would come of it would be a night that neither would ever forget.

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A vampire must sleep in its own native soil. A donkey usually sleeps in its own waste.

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A vampire can live hundreds of years. A donkey won’t but since one donkey is pretty much like another, WHO CARES?

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14 thoughts on “Why the Part of Dracula should be Performed by a Donkey

  1. And a night neither would ever talk about! The kids have had Shrek (all of them) on a lot this summer. All I hear right now is Shrek yelling “Don-KEY!” ….Thanks. This should make for a great jackass kind of day. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I love vampires. Everyone does. They possess an immortal passion to drain the life energy from all living souls, which some people deserve. Not sure I’ve developed love of Donkey’s as this point. Maybe if they made movies about Donkey’s stomping the bad guys to death, then giving us that big Donkey smile…maybe I would love them as much as I do Vampires. And, I thought Eddy Murphy made a pretty good Vampire…although I couldn’t take my eyes of Angela Basset.

    Liked by 2 people

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