Why is There a Rhinoceros-Shaped Hole in my Wall?

[Okay… this one is “experimental”, which is code for “pretty crappy”. I came up with the title first and then tried to come up with ten items. Don’t read these ’til you’ve had your coffee…] Why is there a rhinoceros-shaped hole in my wall? Because… I bought the wrong pet door. I was holding a […]

A Thankless Task

See the above photograph? Deb sent me that photograph; and, she wants me to “do something” with it. I could tell her to jump off a bridge, but I don’t think Australia has any bridges, yet, because no one has given them the recipe for one; moreover, insulting Deb would alienate her and she might […]

What Else Can I Do With My Vacuum Cleaner?

If you have a canister vacuum, aim the nozzle part at the canister and see if it will suck itself up and disappear. Use your vacuum cleaner to pull your eye gently from your socket so you can clean back there. If you’ve got a stopped up toilet and a shop vac, you can put […]

Bits of Pieces of Bits

My body hasn’t been the same since the first time my wife got pregnant…mostly due to that botched vasectomy I performed on myself to ensure it never ever happened again. Insanity runs in my family… mostly it runs from invisible tigers… No man is an island… it’s just that some men are very shore of […]

And, at Last, We End This

Last day of my “vacation” from writing. Oddly enough, I’ve been writing this whole time but at least at my own pace. New stuff will be forthcoming on Monday and backgoing by Wednesday. Because I know you all like essays on saints, here’s… The Unsparing Perspicuity of St Jerome