What Else Can I Do With My Vacuum Cleaner?

vacuum
Photo Credit:  Deb Whittam

If you have a canister vacuum, aim the nozzle part at the canister and see if it will suck itself up and disappear.

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Use your vacuum cleaner to pull your eye gently from your socket so you can clean back there.

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If you’ve got a stopped up toilet and a shop vac, you can put off calling that plumber for another week.

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Weigh the vacuum bag and record that weight.  Then, dump the contents onto your kitchen floor.  Vacuum again and weigh the bag.  If it weighs less, try to account for the missing matter.

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Put the hose in your mouth, turn it on and pit your lungs against technology.  IMPORTANT:  Do NOT do this with the carpet brush attached.  Also, if you lose, take any organs you may have lost carefully out of the vacuum bag and rinse them with warm salt water; then, it’s off to the emergency room with ya!

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Use your vacuum cleaner to make donuts.  How?  I don’t know but I’d imagine if you didn’t rely so heavily on MY input you might come up with an idea on your own.

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Replace the vacuum bag with a sheep’s stomach; then, vacuum up some oats and onions and finally the contents of a slaughterhouse dumpster.  Viola!  Instant haggis.  Just boil, eat and find a stomach pump.

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Remove the bag entirely and you’ve got a makeshift snow-blower, my friend.

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Does your child have a stopped up nose and won’t shut up about it?  I have the solution.

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Try to impersonate how a vacuum cleaner sounds because, after you learn its ways, you can become it; then, you can defeat it.

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Reverse the suction of your vacuum cleaner to perform impromptu glaucoma tests on giant squids.

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15 thoughts on “What Else Can I Do With My Vacuum Cleaner?

  1. “then, it’s off to the emergency room with ya!” Funny read 🙂 I may take you up on the kid with a stuffed nose idea – the little guy is trying to get out of school again today claiming his nose is too stuffy…..a new solution just emerged 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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