A Poem About Dead Actors

I was watching the Guns of Navarone, (the movie’s still here but its actors are gone) . Don Adams, Dean Martin and Shirley Booth Gone are the actors of my youth . I’ve even lost Anthony Quinn (I loved him in whatever that thing was he was in) . So, I sit here bereft because […]

I am the Night!

You are in for a treat. I have with me an international assassin. A man who, when in the army, established a record for most kills in one night… and many of them were the enemy. He terrorized the enemy to the point where they called him “He-who-kills-in-silence”; unfortunately, there was another assassin working in […]

How to Avoid a Doggy’s Bite

For starters, don’t use cologne that smells like bratwurst or kibble, no matter how much it drives the women wild. If you look a lot like a cat, try to make facial expressions that cats are not capable of like concern or empathy. We all know that dogs bite when they smell fear; however, they […]

About the Kite

Kites are great for getting outside on a beautiful, slightly windy, spring day and showing all those around you just how much of a dork you are. There is no reason why box kites should be able to fly; therefore, they are a tool of the devil. Others tools of the devil include the scythe […]

Why We Fight

We fight to install freedom in countries that have none and dictatorships in countries that are too free. We fought international communism; then, we fought international terrorism; now, as China buys up the free world, we are fighting international capitalism. We fight to foil the forces of evil and to mildly unsettle the forces of […]