How to Avoid a Doggy’s Bite

Image result for angry dog

For starters, don’t use cologne that smells like bratwurst or kibble, no matter how much it drives the women wild.

Image result for angry dog cartoon

If you look a lot like a cat, try to make facial expressions that cats are not capable of like concern or empathy.

Image result for angry dog cartoon

We all know that dogs bite when they smell fear; however, they also bite when they smell other emotions that are so subtle that you cannot even control or notice them.  Does this scare you?  Well that’s too bad because we all know that dogs bite when they smell fear.

Image result for angry dog cartoon

Avoid startling a dog.  If you are reading it a mystery novel, read it the last three pages first.

Image result for angry dog cartoon

If a dog seems angry or irritable, resist the urge to give it a dental cleaning.

Image result for angry dog cartoon

Don’t mess with your dog’s food while she’s eating it.  There’ll be plenty of time for you to interact with that same food after it has been digested and expelled.

Image result for angry dog cartoon

Make sure that your dog gets its rabies shot.  If you are an anti-vaxer, then you can accomplish the same thing by simply keeping your dog away from every other living thing in the world.

Image result for angry dog cartoon

If your dog snaps at you, discipline it with a firm, “No!” or a thorough dental cleaning.

Image result for angry dog cartoon

Don’t dress like a postman.  Actually, this applies all the time and to every situation…

Image result for angry dog cartoon

If you run from a dog, it might see you as prey and bite you; so, run directly at every dog you see, but try to avoid startling it or cleaning its teeth.

Image result for angry dog cartoon

 

16 thoughts on “How to Avoid a Doggy’s Bite

  1. “If you look a lot like a cat, try to make facial expressions that cats are not capable of like concern or empathy.” and “There’ll be plenty of time for you to interact with that same food after it has been digested and expelled.” made me laugh 🙂 And I never even realized I am drawn to a guy with a distinct smell of kibble 🙂 Funny to read and I loved the little angry doggie in the middle of the points

    Liked by 1 person

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