Why We Fight

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We fight to install freedom in countries that have none and dictatorships in countries that are too free.

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We fought international communism; then, we fought international terrorism; now, as China buys up the free world, we are fighting international capitalism.

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We fight to foil the forces of evil and to mildly unsettle the forces of apathy…

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We fight for a better tomorrow… a better tomorrow, I’d imagine, would be one with a lot of pie and ponies…

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We fight against the forces of pragmatism and we will do literally anything to stop them.

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We fight for those who can’t and for those who probably can but are pretending that they can’t.

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We fight so that people all over the world can have free elections, each person casting a vote for one of the people we decided is okay for them to have as president.

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Sometimes we fight because we’ve got some new weapons coming in and we just want to get rid of the old ones. Belize, we’re looking in your direction.

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We fight so that no one will have to live under the boot of repression, the yoke of dictatorship, or the stylish fedora of Nordic socialism.

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11 thoughts on “Why We Fight

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