We fight to install freedom in countries that have none and dictatorships in countries that are too free.
We fought international communism; then, we fought international terrorism; now, as China buys up the free world, we are fighting international capitalism.
We fight to foil the forces of evil and to mildly unsettle the forces of apathy…
We fight for a better tomorrow… a better tomorrow, I’d imagine, would be one with a lot of pie and ponies…
We fight against the forces of pragmatism and we will do literally anything to stop them.
We fight for those who can’t and for those who probably can but are pretending that they can’t.
We fight so that people all over the world can have free elections, each person casting a vote for one of the people we decided is okay for them to have as president.
Sometimes we fight because we’ve got some new weapons coming in and we just want to get rid of the old ones. Belize, we’re looking in your direction.
We fight so that no one will have to live under the boot of repression, the yoke of dictatorship, or the stylish fedora of Nordic socialism.