I want to enhance and add beauty to people’s lives. Because I cannot do that, I write instead.
I have a strong need to share my deepest and most intimate feelings in words that rhyme with “grape” and “cloud”.
I’m sure that I can post my writings on-line and make a fortune from the ad revenues. Did I mention that I’m also an idiot?
Every time I write, I expose a portion of my soul… the poorly-spelled, grammatically-baffling portion of my soul.
Writing helps me express my feelings in a way that certainly alienates people; however, it’s better than chasing them away with a baseball bat.
Writing improves my vocabulary. I usually learn, on average, a new word every day. I only wish those were English words.
I write to develop a following of people who admire me, love my work and will kill on my command.
When I go to a restaurant and tell them I’m a writer, I get a special table near the bathrooms and an insistence that I pay in advance.
Maybe what I write will be made into a move. I’ve always dreamed of writing the movie that Bruce Willis will die during the filming of.
I will spend my life trying to revolutionize absurdist theater even though I don’t know what something like that would look like.