Why I Write

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I want to enhance and add beauty to people’s lives. Because I cannot do that, I write instead.

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I have a strong need to share my deepest and most intimate feelings in words that rhyme with “grape” and “cloud”.

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I’m sure that I can post my writings on-line and make a fortune from the ad revenues. Did I mention that I’m also an idiot?

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Every time I write, I expose a portion of my soul… the poorly-spelled, grammatically-baffling portion of my soul.

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Writing helps me express my feelings in a way that certainly alienates people; however, it’s better than chasing them away with a baseball bat.

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Writing improves my vocabulary. I usually learn, on average, a new word every day. I only wish those were English words.

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I write to develop a following of people who admire me, love my work and will kill on my command.

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When I go to a restaurant and tell them I’m a writer, I get a special table near the bathrooms and an insistence that I pay in advance.

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Maybe what I write will be made into a move. I’ve always dreamed of writing the movie that Bruce Willis will die during the filming of.

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I will spend my life trying to revolutionize absurdist theater even though I don’t know what something like that would look like.

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28 thoughts on “Why I Write

  1. I love this! May I print it out? It is definitely fridge-worthy. Last night at a family gathering we were discussing home remodeling, massage therapy, building inspection, counseling juvenile criminals, working for the FBI – pretty much everything that everyone else was doing. No one asked how my writing was going, but now if anyone ever does, I’ve got some great answers. 😉
    PS Love the picture, too! Reminded me of myself, trying to write my first book when I was in first grade.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Writers who believe in themselves write great tales, as compared to the writers who don’t fall for themselves and end up writing things that others understand.

        Liked by 1 person

      1. You mean the fifty worder? I think that could be expanded nicely into a longer work. In fact, I kind of expected a “to be continued…” at the end…

        Like

  2. I excitedly scroll through my WP feed each morning to see what laughs are in store for me with your posts 🙂 And the first one was my favorite and the bathroom one was my second

    Liked by 1 person

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