Ask a Biologically-enhanced Super-intelligent Dog (Part 4, The Doggoning)

Dear Super Intelligent Dog (etc etc etc) my partner has taken to sharing our bed with a cat. What should I do? Also is it illegal to bury my partner on the backyard? – Deb Down Under Dear Ms. Under, First, there is no problem with sharing a bed with a cat, provided you aren’t […]

Advice Column Advice

To my readers and to those who just come here to see if I mentioned them at all: I’m planning on writing another advice column featuring the biologically-enhanced super-intelligent dog, and I thought some of you might want to offer questions for her. If so, put them into the comments below… Ask a Bio-engineered Super-intelligent […]

Ask a Bio-engineered Super-intelligent Dog, Speed Round

Q. My daughter is pregnant and I’m not happy about it. What should I do? A. Don’t worry. Your daughter’s condition should be back to normal in eight or nine months. If it isn’t, she’s probably just fat. Q. What is a good name for a pet spider? A. “Mr. Spider” Q. That’s not a […]

Remembrance of Things Random

If I had to pick my one biggest mistake in my life, I’d have to pick the time that I opened an allergy clinic right next door to a Africanized bee, shrimp, peanut and ragweed emporium. Older women who are attracted to younger men are called “cougars”. Older men who are attracted to younger women […]

How to Stop Procrastinating

Read the autobiographies of people who accomplish things. Do they procrastinate? No! They work, play golf, sail their yachts and, when the time came for them to write their autobiography, they proactively hired a ghost writer. So, read their lives and absorb their message whenever you get around to it. Make sure all of your […]