Things Better Done Drunk

Night Swimming: If the movie Jaws taught us anything it is that drinking and swimming don’t mix… with sharks, anyway. Without sharks, drunk swimming is GREAT. You can just drift off to sleep above or below the waves (your choice). Was it suicide or stupidity? No one knows!!! Golf: Golf goes with alcohol like softball […]

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Channeling Rodney Dangerfield

I was an ugly baby… when I was born the nurses put me in an iguana habitat. And, I went to a tough school. It was so tough, they had to use Navy Seals as elementary school teachers; so tough, they bused felons from the state prison to scare them straight. I got beaten up […]

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My Relations

I had a great-uncle who played professional baseball in the thirties. He is best known for standing at the plate, pointing at the right field bleachers and saying, “I buried a body over there”, then hitting a ground ball and being thrown out at first base. My great-great grandfather invented the telephone but then waited […]

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