Still More Stuff I Miss

West African Black Rhinoceros: This creature went extinct a couple of decades ago due to it being poached for its horn. The horn, when powdered, is supposed to have amazing sexual recuperative powers. I will miss them because I am down to two doses and the holidays are coming up. Pencil Sharpeners: No matter how […]

My Mystery, Cha Two

Captain Laffinstock and his patrolman looked over the bloody, torn and remarkably fit body of Snakeford Cadd, laid out in his library. A quick interview with the members of the household and those just outside the house indicated that no one had heard a shot fired; but, there he lay, stabbed twelve times and electrocuted. […]

My Mystery, Cha One

Introduction to this mystery here: Snakeford Cadd strode smugly down the derry. Well, it might’ve been the derry… no one in town knew exactly what a “derry” was. Snakeford Cadd was the first to admit that he was a vaingloreous, bigheaded, conceited, egotistical self-satisfied monster of a man. Most wanted to slap that smug […]

Still Still More Advice from my Great Grandpappy

It’s best to avoid renting an apartment that has the term “urine-soaked” anywhere in the description. Never buy hamburger from a bad-tempered butcher. The rule of thumb is: For every two zucchini plants you grow, you should make one new friend who really likes eating zucchini. If your landlord stops by to pick up the […]

The First Things I’ll Do After Covid

Kiss the first person I see, on the mouth, like that sailor from that famous photograph taken on VJ Day. Shave. Put my pants on. Actually, I should probably do THAT BEFORE I kiss the first person I see, on the mouth, like that sailor from that famous photograph taken on VJ Day. I will […]