It’s best to avoid renting an apartment that has the term “urine-soaked” anywhere in the description.
Never buy hamburger from a bad-tempered butcher.
The rule of thumb is: For every two zucchini plants you grow, you should make one new friend who really likes eating zucchini.
If your landlord stops by to pick up the rent on his way to Las Vegas, you should probably start looking for a new apartment.
Never tease a swan without an exit strategy.
Although it often ends up that way, the words “holistic” and “quack” are not synonyms.
Alcohol and orchestra pits are a bad combination.
If your local community colleges are too expensive, the free meals and jobs training of your state’s prisons are only a third-degree felony away…
Never trust a nurse who doesn’t give you her name, isn’t dressed as a nurse and is taking cash from your wallet.
Bad-tempered swans can be distracted with zucchini bread.
Potatoes and the Promise of More Potatoes 
Swans, yep that made me laugh and after the day I’ve had that is pretty miraculous. Thanks Charles 😃
LikeLiked by 1 person
Bad day at work, Deb?
LikeLike
No, home this time. My mum’s in hospital and I’m relying on my Father and brother for information. Its frustrating
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh, I’m sorry, Deb. I’ve been there (relying on someone else for my news of illness).
I hope your mom gets better very soon.
LikeLike
The ratio of zucchini to zucchini liking friends has always been uneven. Same goes for eggplant. You can clear a room when those babies are harvested.
LikeLiked by 1 person
People just don’t know how to cook eggplant. Floured and deep-fried, it is fantastic…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Floured, fried, covered in sauce and cheese. Totally disguised? Yes.
LikeLiked by 1 person
No sauce… no cheese… They taste like a cross between french fries and oysters…
LikeLike
I used to grow zucchini, but when I caught my old beagle, Louie peeing on it – well, I decided those zucchini’s were for “friends” only.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Oh, that’s EVIL Robyn… Do you make them ask for them as well…?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Haha…no, I would never do that!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I feel like there’s a story behind the swans
LikeLiked by 2 people
I think everyone has a story involving a swan or goose…
LikeLiked by 1 person
I didn’t find out until I encountered one, but they hiss…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yeah and they will attack. I don’t let them intimidate me because… well… IT’S A BIRD…
LikeLike
Good note about the nurse. What if it’s a strange swan trying to take your wallet?
LikeLiked by 1 person
If the swan stops at just taking your wallet, GIVE IT TO HIM!!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Did you hear about the swan who went to a watering hole in a bad neighborhood? It was a real swan dive.
LikeLiked by 1 person
So, you are saying that you have literally no shame?
LikeLiked by 1 person
That zuccini-find-a-friend advice has got to be the most realest thing I’ve read in a while.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Well, it sure beats throwing it over the fence into your neighbor’s yard.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Could of used his advice before planting a few zucchini plants this spring ;), and I would never waste zucchini bread on a swan…well maybe this year I could afford to spare some…
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m just saying that you should have some in your pocket, just in case…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ok, but gross. All I can think of is the nasty stuff I’ve put my hands into in kids pockets before washing their pants…🤢
LikeLiked by 1 person
Are you saying that you found a swan in your kid’s pocket?
LikeLike