Still More Stuff I Miss

West African Black Rhinoceros: This creature went extinct a couple of decades ago due to it being poached for its horn. The horn, when powdered, is supposed to have amazing sexual recuperative powers. I will miss them because I am down to two doses and the holidays are coming up. Pencil Sharpeners: No matter how […]

My Mystery, Cha Two

Captain Laffinstock and his patrolman looked over the bloody, torn and remarkably fit body of Snakeford Cadd, laid out in his library. A quick interview with the members of the household and those just outside the house indicated that no one had heard a shot fired; but, there he lay, stabbed twelve times and electrocuted. […]

My Mystery, Cha One

Introduction to this mystery here: Snakeford Cadd strode smugly down the derry. Well, it might’ve been the derry… no one in town knew exactly what a “derry” was. Snakeford Cadd was the first to admit that he was a vaingloreous, bigheaded, conceited, egotistical self-satisfied monster of a man. Most wanted to slap that smug […]

Still Still More Advice from my Great Grandpappy

It’s best to avoid renting an apartment that has the term “urine-soaked” anywhere in the description. Never buy hamburger from a bad-tempered butcher. The rule of thumb is: For every two zucchini plants you grow, you should make one new friend who really likes eating zucchini. If your landlord stops by to pick up the […]

Your Philosophy Annoys Me (a Poem)

Your attempts to be existential are stupid and provincial and your persistence in justifying your own existence by invoking Sartre is putting the horse before the cartre And, even though I respect Camus I can’t see what he has to do with yus If we discuss philosophy any more there’s the door. Because, if I […]