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The best time to travel the desert is at night. You can use the stars for navigation; for example, if you look at the brightest star, directly above your head and it gets closer and closer, you are traveling upwards and not sideways, backwards or forwards like you should be. And, don’t think it won’t […]

Other Stuff that I Want

A seeing-eye hot blonde. A set of fine china with images of half-eaten food painted on them. A mockingbird and an ultrasensitive cat Mood toilet paper A nice set of chef’s knives and a nice chef to go with them A lace and silk handkerchief because I’ve always wanted to start an illegal street race […]

Planning for your Retirement

Nothing beats an IRA or, as I call it, “Charlie’s Impulse-Spending Fund”… Δ Retirement is much cheaper if you live with one of your kids. Choose the one who paused the least when you asked if you could live with him… Δ In warmer climates, nothing beats living in a refrigerator box. Δ There are […]

Thoughts on Hamlet

Hamlet is a play about a young man who finds out his father was murdered so he kills nearly everyone he’s ever known. It’s called a “tragedy” because snuff-films had yet to be invented. The Lion King is the first and probably the last Disney cartoon to be based on Hamlet. There were a few […]

The Psycho-Sexual Symbolism of Little Red Riding Hood

The story of Little Red Riding Hood has long been considered an textbook example of rape symbolism, Jungian death archetypes and timber wolf pornography; but, there are also connections to the tenets of Buddhism, the influx of the adolescent dreamscape and the disappearance of labor leader Jimmy Hoffa. It can be shown conclusively that the […]