Potatoes and the Promise of More Potatoes
Funnier than a sharp stink in your eye…
I am a witness to the death of the rutabaga. That’s right: The miracle vegetable that has graced so many Thanksgiving tables is about to go the way of the dinosaur and the five dollar steak. The rutabaga cures cancer BEFORE IT EVEN STARTS! Of course, after it starts, you’re on your own. But, the […]
Read More 10-100-500-100-10 RutabagasBut, there’s always mom and dad’s house and your old room; however, it is now filled with sewing supplies and fishing equipment. They manage to put a futon in the corner and it’s a little better than sleeping on the streets and WAY better than rooming with vegans. After a few months of french fries […]
Read More Two Boobs: That’s What They Take us for (pt 2)I am SO angry, I can hardly see saw. I realized, recently, that life is a perpetual struggle. It occurred to me while I was trying to put a plate with English muffins and jam on an already overloaded footstool. As I spent three minutes alternating between setting things down and catching others as they […]
Read More Two Boobs: That’s What They Take us for (pt 1)Fewer books in our libraries means more room for homeless drug addicts. ◦ Homosexuality is completely antithetical to our existence so it makes sense that, if our children see a homosexual alluded to in a book, they will instantly turn gay. ◦ Who knows better what we should read and not read than a bunch […]
Read More Why I’m all for Banning BooksBecause sometimes you just feel the need to vomit for twenty minutes and then sleep on the bathroom floor. ♣ You can’t make marijuana in a prison toilet. ♣ If your child accidentally ingests pot, he could become very anxious; whereas, if your child drinks your liquor, the worst that can happen is he’ll crash […]
Read More Why Marijuana will Never Replace Alcohol
Potatoes and the Promise of More Potatoes 