Dirty Cracks About Soap

Soap has been around for nearly five thousand years. The discovery that the Mesopotamians made soap revolutionized the way people thought about soap… especially in regards to Mesopotamia. The name “soap” was derived from Mount Sapo. Heat, ash and fat from animal sacrifices created a liquid soap that ran into a nearby river. Women washing […]

New on Television, this Summer…

My Big Fat Heroin-addict Mom: It is, in fact, the reality show to end all reality shows… at least I hope that’s what it does. A woman with a heroin habit and a compulsive eating disorder tries to juggle two kids… probably because she’s so high that she thinks they are oranges. If successful, the […]

What Random Thoughts Hath God Wrot?

When I say that Lisa Loeb is the Antichrist, I’m not saying that she’s the evil opposite of Jesus Christ. I’m just saying that she will actively bring about the destruction of the world… I’m done with women because I’ve been burned so many times before… most recently when a lady threw her coffee at […]

American Goats!

Texas has more goats than any other state. Texas has more Texans than any other state. Guess which ones the rest of us are most worried about… You can rent goats in the United States to clear tall grass and shrubs during forest fire season. The fact that you can probably rent them for other […]

Ich Will

I want one of those calves that is born with two heads because I already bought the two little hats. I want to have a lesbian relationship. I know that I’m a guy, but I think it would help me to relate… plus, I get tired of always being the one to open the pickle […]