Truck Stops, Part One: Bathrooms!

Voiding in a truck stop bathroom is a great way to find out whether or not you can hold your breath for the duration of a bowel movement… If you are going to put a woman’s phone number on the wall, remember to include the area code and if she is actually a woman. Nothing […]

Half a Mast is Better than No Mast at All

Whenever a prominent person in the United States passes on, we fly our flags at half-mast. Other countries employ wailing and gnashing of the teeth but we feel that our method is quieter and requires fewer emergency visits to the dentist. Below is a FAQ that might be helpful in understanding the practice: Q. […]

Seven Habits of Highly Ineffectual People

Don’t be afraid to ask questions: And, I mean a LOT of questions… so many questions that no one you work for will ever ask you to do anything ever again. Network: You may think you are alone out there, but there are a lot of other screw-ups that are just waiting to share what […]

Tinker, Tailor, Random, Thoughts

My gaydar went down for an entire day and I was forced to interact with people whose sexual leanings could not be effectively guessed at. When I finally got it working again, it turned out that I’d interacted with three gays and might have caught homosexuality from one of them. Doctor told me that I’d […]

What May be My Worst Ideas Ever

A light opera about salt-water crocodiles Aerosol grape jelly A seeing eye rhinoceros so the blind can navigate through packed crowds A pine cone circus A little refrigerator you can fit inside your microwave. A line of condolence cards based upon the movie Ben Hur. A television series about a fat, pony-tailed humorist who fights […]