Stuff I Used to Worry About

I used to worry about dying young; now, I just worry about dying. I used to worry about going bald; now, I just worry about my hat blowing off. I used to worry about getting fat; now, I just worry that I’m not worried about getting fat. I used to worry about being publicly humiliated; […]

A Message

I want to take a vow of silence… but, I’d also like to be able to brag about it to others. Piety is useless unless you can lord it over those spiritually weaker than you. Certainly, you are no longer being humble… but, there are other qualities that you can concentrate on. Compassion is a […]

Some Lies About Truth

I want the truth. Unfortunately, like Tom Cruise, I can’t handle the truth. Another characteristic that Cruise and I share is that neither of us is married to Nicole Kidman… Truth is considered one of the noblest goals for humankind to aspire to. It’s not as noble as defending the weak, so if you want […]

I Don’t See the Glass as Half-Empty

Capitalist: I see the glass as a marketable pessimism-detector. Republican: I see the glass as lazy and not living up to its full potential. I will no longer support this half-full glass and its Islamic/Hispanic friends with my tax dollars… Salesman: I see the glass as twice as good as a quarter full. Lawyer: I […]

Morale Dilemmas

[This is the mid-term for Ethics of Empirical Rationalist Existentialists of the Reformation. Please answer every question as completely as possible, unless told to do exactly the opposite; in that case, decide for yourself] Question One Someone cuts you off in traffic and you have a remote control that will make his head explode. Do […]