A Poem

[Too depressed to write this week… but…] Shelter in place but give each other space and don’t tell your wife she has a face like a horse or she’ll want a divorce and she’ll journey to her attorney and you’ll be stuck in the house with her and rejected and she’ll probably also be infected

The Last I’ll Say on the Topic of Hair Color

If a woman has blonde hair She’ll always have boyfriends to spare . A woman whose hair is red Will be knee-deep in men ‘til the sun is cold and dead . But, when a man wants to settle down He’ll choose woman whose hair is brown . And, marriage will be their bond (‘til […]

Doggerel-Days of August

All through the Fall I am upset, Because Winter will be here soon I bet. * And, Winter’s no fun, I just bundle up and wait for it to be done. * But, I get sad when it is Spring because it is brief like every nice thing. * During the hot hot Summer, I […]

A Poem About Dead Actors

I was watching the Guns of Navarone, (the movie’s still here but its actors are gone) . Don Adams, Dean Martin and Shirley Booth Gone are the actors of my youth . I’ve even lost Anthony Quinn (I loved him in whatever that thing was he was in) . So, I sit here bereft because […]

Stupid Animals: A Poem

They say pigs are awfully clever but, can they do your taxes? No, never! . They say the smartest birds are crows but, how one got stuck in my chimney nobody knows. . They say an elephant never forgets But, if they were smarter, they’d make better pets. . If a dog were smartes […]

William Burroughs: A Hate Poem

I’d rather have my nose stuffed with churros Than read William Burroughs. They told me his voice Resembled James Joyce And, that was true enough If Joyce was into porn, feces and snuff His was the only book I ever buyed That I felt compelled to hide So, thanks a bunch For Naked Lunch

All I See are Candidates: A Poem

I can’t vote for Joe Biden because he doesn’t seem like someone I could confide in. . I can’t vote for Kamala Harris because her old opinions on criminal justice might embarrass. . I won’t vote for Beta O’Rourke because he looks as if he eats his pizza with a fork. . I won’t vote […]