A Poem About Dead Actors

I was watching the Guns of Navarone, (the movie’s still here but its actors are gone) . Don Adams, Dean Martin and Shirley Booth Gone are the actors of my youth . I’ve even lost Anthony Quinn (I loved him in whatever that thing was he was in) . So, I sit here bereft because […]

Stupid Animals: A Poem

They say pigs are awfully clever but, can they do your taxes? No, never! . They say the smartest birds are crows but, how one got stuck in my chimney nobody knows. . They say an elephant never forgets But, if they were smarter, they’d make better pets. . If a dog were smartes […]

William Burroughs: A Hate Poem

I’d rather have my nose stuffed with churros Than read William Burroughs. They told me his voice Resembled James Joyce And, that was true enough If Joyce was into porn, feces and snuff His was the only book I ever buyed That I felt compelled to hide So, thanks a bunch For Naked Lunch

All I See are Candidates: A Poem

I can’t vote for Joe Biden because he doesn’t seem like someone I could confide in. . I can’t vote for Kamala Harris because her old opinions on criminal justice might embarrass. . I won’t vote for Beta O’Rourke because he looks as if he eats his pizza with a fork. . I won’t vote […]

A Poem: The Mind of a Skeptic

Valley Forge consisted of an imaginary Washington and an army that never existed. . Is the Earth flat? I certainly believe that. . The landing on the moon was faked (and I’ll have proof soon). . Will I be immunized by a shot? I certainly will not… . At a very large cost Hitler faked […]

Ask a Genetically-Modified Bio-engineered Super-intelligent Dog, Pt 6

Dear Genetically-Modified Bio-engineered Super-intelligent Dog, Despite my inviting her, my sister-in-law attended my wedding, which I thought was very selfish of her. That was MY DAY. It was SUPPOSED TO BE ABOUT ME. But, there she sat in the second row, coyly staying quiet enough to be interesting to all those around her. My friends […]

Karma’s a Bitch: A Poem

I saw a child living in squalor so I gave her a dollar. . I saw a homeless woman, barely alive so I gave her a five. . I met a poor old man whose health wasn’t good I told him that I “understood”. . When evil fortune took people unawares, I tried to repel […]