An Additional Rant

Recently, I was watching a program about illegal drug use in Portland, Oregon. You know, one of those shows where the narrator’s every utterance is the voice of doom. He said, “This is Portland” with the same grim morbidity one might use in describing a new strain of HIV that is transmitted by reading someone’s […]

If Crime Doesn’t Pay, a LOT of People are Wasting their Time

“Crime does not pay” That is not the dumbest thing ever said, but, if you stand next to it, you can see the dumbest thing from there. It was one of the trademark lines of the pulp-hero, The Shadow. He was a radio-age superhero who had the power to cloud men’s minds… which is what […]

Best Names/Worst Names

Cars: For a car name to be good, it has to be an animal’s name. For a car name to be great, it needs to be a vicious animal. To be the best name, it HAS to be two vicious animals. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Stutz’s “Bearcat”. It’ll definitely do until someone produces […]

For Sale: The Root of All Evil

How can we make United States currency more popular? It USED to be very popular… the preferred money of black marketers and prostitutes of all nations great and small. But, those were our glory days. Over the last four decades, we’ve tried everything to SELL the love of the dollar: We took the plainest most […]

Desire Under the Alligators Chapters 1 – 3

[What follows is an idea for a romance novel that I came up, last year. It is a heart-warming, sensitive piece of dreck I think the general public will eat up like the hogs that they are… Chapters 4 – 6 are here] Chapter 1. Sally Golimply is born in the slums of Vatican City. […]